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Duil Marriage Traditions
Marriages in Duilintinn are a mixture of traditions from Feadhainn and Waldren. The Wedding Weddings are a big deal in Duilintinn. Duilintinn's culture places a lot of emphasis on discovering who you are and where you fit in the world. Weddings are a ceremony celebrating that you have found that place in the world with another person! As a result, wedding celebrations place a lot of emphasis on the concept of two people finding their place in the world with each other. Ceremony The wedding ceremony itself takes place in the amphitheaters found in almost every town of Duilintinn. Both members of the couple enter from opposite sides of the amphitheater and meet at the center for vows. This sort of ceremony places a lot of emphasis on two people coming from separate places and the mutual choice to join their fates together. After the couple enters the amphitheater, the person running the service calls out to the congregation if there would be someone to stand for the honor of the bride and the honor of the groom. These people would have been chosen beforehand and could be a family member or a good friend. They would then show off 'why' they were chosen (really could be any number of reasons), with the entire amphitheater to strut their stuff in a show of strength. After the people standing for both partners finish their show, they stand by the couple to 'protect' them for the rest of the ceremony. Finally, the couple exchanges vows. These vows vary in structure and origin depending on your preference and heritage, ranging from Waldren vows to what little has been passed down from the marriage traditions of Feadhainn. Sometimes, the parents or families of the couple will also exchange vows, as a holdover from Waldren's arranged marriages. At the very end of the ceremony, rings are exchanged. Decorations Each side of the amphitheater is usually decorated with the symbols of each person's house. Sometimes, people will choose decor that focuses on their career, guild, faith, or membership within The Watch. After the ceremony, the reception will have an artful combination of these two sets of decorations. Reception After the ceremony, tables are set up in the center of the amphitheater, and a big feast is served by the families of the couple to celebrate. Marriage Ideals Since Duilintinn's culture is so focused on individuals finding their place in the world, the concept of two souls bringing that individuality together as a cooperative unit is considered a beautiful thing. There is no tradition of a person taking on their spouse’s house when they get married. That would be completely counterintuitive to Duilintinn's culture. If you marry someone from a different house, you’d have to find a compromise about where you would live together, but no one is expected to change houses the way women are expected to change their last name irl. That being said, it’s much more likely that you will marry someone from your house, simply because the majority of nearby options will be in the same house as you. That probability is lower if you are living in a different house or are in The Watch. Young people are encouraged not to rush into marriage, but young marriages are not unheard of. Some families still follow the old traditions of courtship, early marriage, and even arranged marriage that existed during the Waldren Occupation and Interim Years. Still, as the generation that was born after Duilintinn's founding starts having children of their own, these conservative practices are becoming rarer. In general, late-twenties are the recommended minimum age of marriage for people in Duilintinn. Marriages in early to mid-twenties aren't uncommon, but people are encouraged to think very hard and make sure that they know themselves well enough before doing so. You can switch houses and find someone there who will make you happy; you can't always convince the person you've already married to move with you to a new house if you feel uncomfortable in your current life situation. Remember, marriage Duilintinn is very much wrapped around the concept of finding where you belong in another person. However, if that person uses this concept to make you move to a house you don’t belong in or do something else you’re uncomfortable with, THAT’S BAD. Manipulation corrupts the idea of being comfortable and finding your future within another person, turning it into a way to force someone into situations that make them uncomfortable. This is considered one of the worst corruptions of the kingdom’s culture and is not tolerated at all. In the kingdom, where this sense of belonging is something you seek for those around you as well as yourself, to see someone corrupt that beloved idea will usually evoke strong emotions. Angry ones. Despite this, such manipulation does still occur on both sides of the gender spectrum, especially young couples too immature to differentiate between self-sacrifice and being a doormat. This is one of the reasons why people aren’t encouraged to rush into marriage anymore. The other reason why the kingdom encourages later marriages has to do with the question of inter-house relationships, but also relationships and dating in general. One has to know themselves, who they are, what they need as a person before they can try to find that in another person and the future they could have together. Love only goes so far when you are miserable in your home environment, regardless of if that environment is halfway across the kingdom in your spouse’s noble house or three doors down the village lane. Therefore, rather than a matriarchy/patriarchy system determining which partner gets to keep their old life, compromise is a super important part of getting married in Duilintinn instead. In fact, it’s rare for anyone to get hitched until they’ve reached that compromise with their spouse. Agreeing on a plan for the future and announcing it to your family is the equivalent of an engagement. If you can’t reach a compromise… well, then you’ve got a decision to make. It’s considered very foolish to get married without a plan like this, similar to how the modern world generally views getting eloped. Many people believe that, since Lord Brody married Lady Stacy before this tradition took hold, his marriage was doomed from the start. Parents tell their eager teen children the story of Lord and Lady Brody’s catastrophic fallout to remind them of the benefits of spending time to figure out yourself before rushing into a relationship and marriage. Trivia The concept of the amphitheater-style wedding ceremony was inspired by the tumblr post pictured in screenshots on the right, written by tumblr user @nicolegendary.